Rolling Your Own Weddings (and Spirituality)

I was at a humanist wedding recently, my second this year. The readings the couple chose were short excerpts from J.R.R. Tolkien. It was a little disconcerting, but actually made total sense. To choose as a “sacred text” something that you quote all day long (they were obsessive Lord of the Rings fans). Something that you return to in times of turmoil.

Now, extensively customised weddings are par for the course these days, as is the observation, which could be made about almost anything, that LotR fandom resembles a secular religion. What this (completely lovely) ceremony really made me think of, is how I could do similar things in my own life.

If you’ve read my posts about hip hop, you’ll surmise it means a lot to me. Particularly since last summer when I spent a few months mostly on self-reflection, I’ve accepted that my personal conception of hip hop will be a sustaining force for the rest of my life. Basically, I think of hip hop as a martial arts move, a judo flip executed on society and the music industry, that smuggles deep wisdom inside the given structures of capitalism, masculinity and race. The catchy “gems” that stick with you, although camouflaged as egotistical boasts, are fully intended as self-help and spiritual sustenance for anyone who’s ready to receive them. This is true.

And it goes beyond hip hop. Somehow, quitting music performance helped make it clearer to me, that jazz and gospel are spiritual resources in my life. Monk, Nina, the Staple Singers, Paul Desmond, Charles Brown, etc. are presences I can always come back to.

My point? By all means necessary, should we roll our own spirituality! Now, I’m not thinking of organising any weddings anytime soon. However: I know it’s late for a Christmas post, but isn’t that a ritual that could totally be expanded to include something personally meaningful? My first thought was, put some jazz photos on that tree. That’d be cool. Then I remembered that, as usual when I think I have great ideas, others are doing it already.

A good friend of mine has been making a determined effort for a few years now, to create the perfect Christmas jazz playlist. And it works! (I’m not expecting you to bookmark this 11 months in advance, BTW.) Chrimbo and jazz music combine just fine.

Back to that wedding for a second, the music for the ceremony was provided by Dublin duo, Moon and Son, and they played strictly jazz standards throughout, and it worked too.

My takeaway? Popular music has changed irreparably from the restructuring of the industry after MP3s and streaming. It will never again sound like its 20th century peak of effort and sophistication (I believe). Part of the reason I quit playing was this eclipse in cultural relevance. But – it cannot be denied that jazz, blues, gospel, hip hop and more have always had spiritual force, and people still feel it and maybe will become more and more conscious of it. So I bet that among my social class, the globally mobile, mostly white middle class, we’ll see more ritual use of black music, subtly, somehow, every year.